In our living room we were talking to a cute couple from our ward who had just moved in....We were interviewing the wife (there was no time at the office to meet with her) and while Doug was busy in the other room they were asking me about our kids and their ages....I told her we have one who is 6 and another who is 3....the husband looked at me and said "Oh, so you're done having kids?" I didn't know what to say---it caught me off guard...I really hate these awkward moments....so I said our daughter passed away in January.
I felt bad for the husband, I know that must have been awkward....but, it made me sad...sad because she was gone, sad because I was in that situation, sad because I'm unsure what to do next....
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11 comments:
I think its a scenario we all go through many times when you've lost a baby. Its so hard. I don't like it to be awkward but I just can't not include Alexis. I want people to know about her. I feel worse for the person who asked because they feel so bad but I think its good if we can assure them that you love to talk about her and its okay. I'm so sorry Heather.
Very awkward for both parties. It makes me wonder how many times I've asked a seemingly benign question like that.
Yesterday I was thinking about you guys and how good it was to see you! Evan and Audrey are so cute and funny. I can't believe Evan is so big and a total braniac! And I remember when we were standing outside of Nordstrom Audrey was trying to get your attention and she was like "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy..." and you looked at her and you were like "what sweetie?" or something and she just laughed and you laughed back. It was really cute. Evan and Audrey are totally funny.
People often say things without thinking first. Especially when they are a little nervous like when first meeting someone. But even my closest friends have asked me silly questions. It took us just a tad longer than we had hoped to get pregnant with this 3rd baby and I had close friends asking, "c'mon now what's the problem? You guys going to get pregnant or what?" Funny how people can be. They usually have NO clue how things sound. Then you have to feel bad for their innocent ignorance once you announce to them the reality of the situation. I am so sorry it has to come up and be so painful. In one way it forces you to be an open person and share feelings with new friends right away. That can only help broaden your circle of friendship and support. Come see us sometime!!!!!
I can totally relate! :( You did good though.
i think of you often, heather, and your sweet little girl. you are so strong and i know you are being blessed through the difficult moments. sending hugs.
Still thinking of you guys.
so rough. it seems as though we have initial reactions in some conversations with out really thinking.... because we've heard other people say it before.... kind of like set dialogs. i think it takes a lot of effort to try to be a little more sincere then to have set questions, or assumptions.
thinking about you guys.
loves.
Heather i miss you!!!!. whenever i don't know what to do or get scared, (which happens often). i remind myself . trust in the lord with all thyne heart in all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path. it gives me the peace and comfort i need :)
i know you will figure it out , you are an amazing woman , i support you and love you tons :)
Heather, I'm so happy when you start blogging again! Thank you for sharing these moments. I know it's hard, but it helps us to better understand what you are going through. We love you and we want to hear and know about your strength! I think of you often! xoxo
My heart still aches for you guys. I wish we lived closer. Sometimes what people say, just plain hurts. Sometimes they have no idea and sometimes it is obvious (after the fact). Love you guys! How is the practice coming along? Are you liking Vegas?
I have had many such awkward moments... Even now, when new people see us with our three kids I can tell people are wondering why we have such a big gap even if they don't say anything.
I am sure you and Doug together will figure out what to do next. It was scary for us to try again and I was nervous the whole pregnancy but I am so glad we did.
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